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Here I am Lord a Sinner Book

At the age of twelve I was an avid reader of the Bible. I loved the old testament. I would read the stories about King David, Job, Moses, all of the big guys. I thought that I had all the answers only to find out that I did not. When faced with a little girl of my age at the time I could not tell her the true power of Jesus. I caved and lost my ability to believe in His power myself. My mind went into a whirlwind of doubt and disbelieve.

I walked away from wanting to be a Christian to wanting to be like everyone else. Disappearing behind the curtains of denial of embarrassment. I never wanted to feel that ever again. I started to smoke from there I went on to other things such as pot, acid, to anything I could get my hands on.

I started to walk a trial that lead to horror of the worst kind. From mental abuse to physical. Rape to revenge. I was not about to let any one control my life for fear of getting hurt.

I ran away when I was fifteen that lead me going to jail in another state hundreds of miles away.

From there I was sent away to my cousins in yet another state far a way from home. I was placed in a mental clinic for my drug problem being second to the youngest ever at that time. I in my choosing went to a half way house only to run away from there as well.

In the worse times to the quite times I always heard God speak to me. There were times I would listen and yield to Him other times I would raise my fist and scream as loud as my voice would allow me, screaming, "I hate you.". Though I knew He was around I would still do the worse acts just to make Him mad at me.

I was married at the age of seventeen. My first born died before I had a chance to tell him I loved him. I went on to have more children. Some I had to fight to keep them alive. Praying with tears that God would heal them.

Not being able to let go of all my pain and hate I walked away from all the relationships I had been involved in. For over thirty years I ran the marathon of denial not letting anyone in my heart for very long.

I would get sober only to fall back into that pit of hell even worse then before. I had to lose everything to gain freedom. I had to fall flat on my face to see the glory and true meaning of peace.

This book is for you if you are searching for peace and forgiveness. It is for any one that has been hurt or destroyed mentally and physically by rape or the hands of those you thought loved you. This book is for anyone that has lost the relationship of Christ thinking that you can't get it back because you can.

I have been forgiven for all that I have done even abortion, yes that's right even that I did. You will find yourselves in this book somewhere. You could find you have a lot of hate inside your heart because of someone that has hurt you. Rather in their drinking, doing drugs, having an affair, or your children that you are praying for going and drinking and lying to you. It is all in this book.

You will walk with me as I pray and see God working. You will feel your own pain as I share mine. Then you will see the miracle of Gods forgiveness in my life as well as in yours.

I will be placing one chapter at a time on this page. You will be able to receive each chapter for only $1 per chapter through pay pal.

I have been writing this book for over a year and now am ready to share to the world what God as done for me and what he can do for you.